A period of pain
by Kame-tan
Summary: Ed broke his automail arm. Bad. Winry's on her period. Worse. Rated T for language and Ed-bashing. Literally. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A Period of Pain

Ed and Al approached their childhood friend's house. Al, eager to see Winry and Pinako again, picked up the pace, while Ed trailed off behind. Of course, Al noticed this.

"C'mon, Brother" Al said excitedly. "We're almost there!"

"Yeah, I know" Ed grumbled. "There's no point in me being in a rush to get a concussion."

Al sighed, but perked up when they saw Den and Pinako on the porch.

"Hey, Granny Pinako!" Al shouted and waved. The old woman on the porch grinned.

"It's nice to see you again, Ed and Al. Back for the usual?"

"Hey, quit making it sound like we're in a bar." Ed joked. "But yeah, basically." He held up his shredded arm.

Pinako smirked…evilly. "You picked a bad day to come back with busted automail."

"What, did you run out of parts or something?" Ed asked in confusion. Pinako merely shook her head.

"EDWARD ELRIC!" a familiar voice screeched.

Ed flinched; he knew who that voice belonged to and the tone only intensified his fear. The door was literally knocked off its hinges as an extremely pissed Winry Rockbell came storming out. Ed expected a happy-to-see-him-but-angry-for messing-up-good-automail Winry; he had even braced himself for just angry Winry. But this Winry beat the hell out of all the other Winrys and stole the cake.

"DAMN IT ED! YOU DESTROYED MY AUTOMAIL AGAIN!" she screamed. Something deeper than anger was etched in the girl's face, voice and eyes.

"Winry, calm down!" Ed shouted. Demon Winry charged off the porch towards the blonde alchemist and, to Ed's horror, pulled out not a wrench, or a screwdriver, but a _hammer._

"I'M ABOUT TO TEACH YOU A LESSON ABOUT MESSING UP _MY_ AUTOMAIL!" she roared as she raised the hammer.

"NO! I WANT TO LIVE!" Ed screamed as he fled, pell-mell, back the way he came, with Winry hot on his heels.

"It's good to be back." Al mumbled as he watched his brother trying to escape the cold fury of his blonde mechanic.

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Inside, everyone was sitting at the table (except Ed. He was lying on the couch, barely conscious and badly bruised). Pinako and Al were chatting as Winry washed dishes.

"So, have you boys made any progress?" the old woman asked after taking a long puff of her pipe.

"Yeah, but it's been kinda slow." Al answered.

"So…why is Ed's automail smashed up?" Winry snapped in a vicious voice. Al stared as Pinako sighed.

"Um, well…" Al started, hoping he wouldn't have to finish.

"Well what?! You aren't going to tell me are you?!" she spat. "You're just going to make up some half-baked excuse like 'it's nothing' or 'don't worry about it Winry'."

"Winry…" Al started, but to his horror, Winry started crying.

"YOU GUYS ARE SUCH ASSES! YOU TWO ARE JUST EGOTICTICAL BASTARDS WHO HAVE NO CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS WHEN THEY WORRY ABOUT YOU! I HATE YOU TWO!" she positively screamed, then stomped upstairs. No one said anything until they heard a door slamming.

"Um, Granny Pinako…what's wrong with Winry?" Al asked timidly. "I know she worries about us, but she's never this-"

"Psycho." Ed finished, finally conscious. "A better question is where's the _real _Winry."

Pinako chuckled lightly. "Well, as I was saying, you picked the wrong time to come with a busted arm…the wrong time of the month."

"What does that mean?" Ed asked.

"Nothing, really. Winry's just really moody right now. She should be better by tomorrow; until then, I wouldn't dare say anything about repairing your arm unless you want to switch to an automail head." Pinako mused.

"Yeah, well, I think I want to try to hang on to as many of my original body parts as possible." Ed muttered as he put ice on more of his bruises.

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Kame: wait, there's more!...well, if people review. But there's only going to be a few chapters in this one boys and girls.


	2. Chapter 2

Kame: Before I say anything noteworthy, I'll address the fantabulous reviews=)

Aninika: Exactly! EVERYONE! ^^

EvilMuffinsOfDeath: Ed will survive by dumb luck and dumbness (and Al will help a little too):D

Bluedog10: Glad ya likes it. Hm, I considered it (I mean, wouldn't THAT be fun?) but then I realized Winry wouldn't be able to put him back together again (Ed has too many pieces that make him tick. If she does try to put him back together, I guarantee there will be more than a few screws missing.)

Moonrise: only five? More like 20…

Midori-chan902: lol, if Ed tried, we all know what would happen^^

Monksea: Yes, I totally agree. Poor Winry. Ed will live…I think?

Nahmae: thanks^^

Obsidianlight: Ed might be familiar with what a period is, but I guarantee he doesn't know anything about PMS or the other symptoms of a cycle … more fun for me!:D

BugzAttack: yes, she is.

Well, nothing more to say…except it's my bday! Whoo! I'm turning X years old^^. Think of this chapter as my birthday present to myself. I give this to you, and you give me reviews for my bday! Yay! Everyon wins!

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Ed stayed in the living room for a while after Pinako turned in for the night (not like he had a choice; he was still recovering from his demon thrashing). After Al retrieved more ice, he sat on the floor, his back resting on the couch Ed was sprawled across. Both were relatively silent, absorbed in their own thoughts. After a while, Al voiced his thoughts.

"Brother, do you think that what Winry said is true?"

"Which part Al?" Ed asked sardonically. "Do you mean the part where she called us asses, the part where she called us egotistical bastards or the part where she screamed she hated us? Personally, I think the part where she called us egotistical bastards was-"

"No Brother," Al sighed. "I'm talking about the part about us having no consideration for people who worry over us."

Ed sat silent for a moment. "No." he replied indifferently. "We have enough consideration to not let her know what we're really doing; she would only worry more if she found out about Scar and the Homunculi. Besides, Winry's a little crazier than normal, if you haven't noticed."

He patted Al on the shoulder. "Don't take anything she says now seriously."

Just as he finished up, said blonde came down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. Ed and Al watched her apprehensively as she went to the cabinet, pulled out a box of cookies, and started tearing through the package like a starved animal.

"What?!" she snapped when she noticed the two brothers watching.

"N-nothing Winry; we were wondering if everything was okay." Al said.

Her eyes widened and she looked at the table. "I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier Al." She mumbled. "It's just…sometimes I feel like I'm about to lose everything. All I really have is you, Ed and Granny." Her eyes started welling up with tears.

"Don't cry Winry!" Al said, getting up to comfort Winry. Ed limped along; he hated seeing Winry cry.

"Is that the reason why you were so…upset earlier?" Ed asked as he reached for a cookie. Being unconscious and injured made him hungry. When his hand was about four-fifths of an inch away, Winry suddenly pulled out her hammer-out of nowhere-and sent it crashing down on three of Ed's fingers.

"OWWW! SON OF A -! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" he screamed.

"THESE ARE _MY_ COOKIES DAMNIT!" she shouted, the demonic light back in her eyes.

"GOD WINRY, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO-"

"So _what_?!" she hollered. "So _greedy_, So _fat_! Is that what you were trying to say?! I'm fat?!"

"What?!" Ed shouted, completely thrown off by the direction this conversation was heading. "I never said any of that!"

"Oh, but you were _thinking_ it, weren't you?! When you were watching me eat earlier!" she accused.

"Uh, Winry, I don't think Brother was trying to say that…"

"Winry, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Ed asked angrily.

"Oh, so there's something wrong with me because I like cookies?! Well, I have news for you! THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FAT EDWARD!"

"I NEVER SAID YOU WERE!"

"YOU'RE IMPLYING IT, AREN'T YOU!?"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP ALL OF THAT NOISE?!" Pinako shouted, her eyes livid. Everyone at the table fell silent. "It's too late for you two to act like an old married couple! Shut-up!"

No one said anything as Pinako went back into her room. Ed got up and headed to his room.

"Who in the hell would marry that she-devil?" he mumbled viciously as he ascended the stairs. A flying hammer crashed into the back of his head and Ed was down for the count.

"You are such a jerk!" Winry growled as she picked up her hammer and stomped upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Kame: Major points go out to everyone who reviewed _and_ wished me a Happy Bday: bluedog10, obsidianlight, Eriisu-April, Ivory Jade 6669. Everyone else gets an honorable mention; thanks for reviewing. Well, my monthly inspiration struck me and gave me the ideas needed to finish this chapter. Hope u enjoy^^

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Chapter 3

The next morning, Winry didn't come down for breakfast.

"Where is she?!" Ed huffed impatiently. "I need my arm fixed ASAP and she's taking all day to come down!"

"Calm down, Brother." Al replied, playing with Den. "She'll be down here soon."

Pinako said nothing as she finished her breakfast. When noon came and she still didn't make an appearance, both brothers were worried about their childhood friend.

"Granny Pinako, is Winry ok? I mean, I don't think she stayed up all night working on automail, so why hasn't she come down yet?" Al asked with concern evident in his voice.

Pinako sighed. "I guess you boys really don't know then."

"What are you talking about?" Ed asked.

"Well, Winry's on her period." Pinako stated simply.

"Winry's on a period?" Al asked, confused.*

"Her menstrual cycle." Pinako clarified.

"That sounds familiar…I think I came across that term in a book." Ed muttered vaguely. Pinako sighed and explained to them what it was. Three minutes later, Ed and Al were sitting at the table, both traumatized.

"Winry…does _that_…_EVERY MONTH_?!" Ed gasped.

Al just sat there, stricken mute by the information.

"Yes and it's not just Winry; all girls do it, unless they're pregnant." Pinako added. "Now I need to go check on her to make sure she's okay." She said as she went upstairs.

"…I've never been happier to be a guy than now." Ed mumbled. A few minutes later, Pinako returned.

"Winry's not feeling well, so don't bother her for the rest of the day." Pinako ordered as she grabbed a coat and headed to the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Ed asked.

"We ran out of medicine, so I'm about to walk to town and get something for Winry's pain. I'll be back soon." With that, Pinako was out the door. Al finally recovered and broke the silence.

"…poor Winry." He muttered. "I wish there was some way we could make her feel better."

"Let's see…when I'm bleeding and in pain, food sometimes makes me feel better. Maybe we should give Winry something to eat; she hasn't left her room all day." Ed suggested.

"Brother, I don't think it's the same thing…besides, Granny Pinako said to leave Winry alone."

"Yeah, but we need to keep an eye on her so she doesn't get any…worse, I guess, since she's not technically sick." Ed observed.

"But Brother, what can we make for Winry; it's not like you know how to cook." Al pointed out.

"If Winry's not feeling good, we can make some toast. This way, her stomach won't be too upset, since it's just dry bread."

"Um, ok." Al agreed. The two boys spent the next twenty minutes fixing toast for their childhood friend. About six pieces of burnt toast, three burned fingers (the same fingers smashed by a certain hammer), two sticks of melted butter and the sound of a certain alchemist face planting later, the toast was fixed and the Elric brothers headed upstairs to Winry's room. Apprehensive about entering Winry's room and nervous about what they would see, both Ed and Al hovered in front of the door, daring the other to knock and enter.

"Go on Al, knock on the door." Ed urged.

""Why don't you do it Brother? You're always making me do the unpleasant stuff." Al huffed.

"Cause I'm sick of being hit by that damn hammer!" Ed grunted.

Al gave in and knocked on Winry's door. When no one answered, he opened the door slowly and entered. The room looked as if a tool shed and a closet vomited all over the place; the floor was littered with almost every kind of clothing imaginable (thankfully, there was no underwear in sight). Her dresser had a conglomeration of random nuts and bolts, tools, needle and thread, various small bottles and other strange things Ed couldn't figure out the function of. At the other end of the room was a large window with a bed underneath. There was a large lump in the dead center of the bed both brothers concluded was Winry and approached said lump with due caution.

"Hey, Win, you okay?" Ed asked in a shaky voice as they approached Winry's bed; there was no response.

"Winry, we brought you something to eat and drink." Al added in a small timid voice. Winry peeked out from underneath her comforter cave and gazed at Al with glassy eyes and a flushed face.

"Damnit, she has a fever." Ed muttered as he placed the juice on the floor next to her bed. "Al, stay with her while I go run some cold water on a towel."

When Ed returned with the towel, Winry was once again curled up in a ball.

"Is she sleeping? Al, wake her up so I can put this on her head." Ed said as he tried to not trip over a pair of boots. No sooner had he said it, Winry suddenly sat up, looking extremely pale, and darted out of the room, knocking Ed down and sending the towel sailing through the air. A loud retching sound answered their questions.

_I hope she made it to the bathroom_ Ed shuddered as he got up.

"Brother, where did the towel go?" Al asked.

"I don't know…" Ed looked around the room and grimaced when he said, "…I suppose we have to look for it."

With Winry occupied in the bathroom, the two went to work searching through the…'stuff', for lack of a better word, Al pawing on the floor while Ed examined the dresser with a mixture of disgust and curiosity.

"I really thought a girl would keep her room cleaner than this." Ed muttered after shoving some screws off the dresser.

"Brother, Winry's sick. She probably didn't have time to clean up. And don't make more of a mess." Al chided as he looked underneath some overalls.

"Hey, Al, come here for a sec." Ed whispered impatiently.

"What are you looking at?" Al inquired after he joined his brother.

At the end of the dresser was a long cloth like object. Both ends were large and bulbous, with a tapered middle. The thing was soft, white and clean, with a pinkish hue. Ed couldn't figure out its purpose.

"What do you think it is, Al?" Ed asked lightly, curious to what his brother's answer would be.

"I dunno…maybe it's for makeup?" Al answered hesitantly.

"Winry…with makeup?" Ed snorted with amusement. "I mean, really, can you imagine that machine junkie wearing something as girly as _makeup_?" He picked up the object and pretended he was putting on blush, patted his cheeks in an over exaggerated manner.

"Brother, I don't think we should play with that…" Al tried to warn, but the effect was lost with his giggles as Ed poked out his lips and acted like he was doing his eyebrows. When Winry busted through her door, her face wan and droopy, time itself stopped to see what would happen.

Winry caught sight of what Ed had in his hand and what he was doing; her already flushed face turned even redder.

"Ed, what the HELL are you DOING?!" she shouted, stomping over to the blonde alchemist. "Why are you on my dresser?! Get out!" She screamed as she tossed both Al and Ed out of her room.

"…I can't wait till Winry gets off her period and fixes my arm." Ed snapped as he pulled himself off the floor.

"She'll have another one, Brother." Al reminded.

"Yeah, but we won't be here."

"Not with the way you keep breaking you arm." Al mused.

"Dealing with a PMSing Winry is enough motivation to keep my arm in working condition." Ed muttered darkly.

**The Next Day….**

Al, Ed and Pinako sit at the table, the latter two eating pancakes and bacon. To their surprise, well at least to Ed and Al's surprise, Winy came down that morning.

"Hi Winry! I'm glad you're feeling better!" Al greeted happily as the blonde took a seat.

"Yeah, thanks for the toast and juice yesterday!" she smiled. She spotted Ed and started giggling.

"Um, Win, are you ok?" Ed asked cautiously, wondering if this Winry is another weird side effect of her monthly cycle.

Winry nodded and started giggleing some more. To Ed's annoyance, Pinako joined in.

"What's so funny?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing the two women.

"Ed, what were you doing yesterday in my room?" she giggled. Ed didn't respond.

"Better yet, do you even know what you were playing with, patting all over your face?" she asked, Pinako chuckling in the background.

"Um, something for makeup?" Ed answered sheepishly. Winry stared at Ed with something close to amazement for how stupid he could be at times. She sighed and shook her head. "Honestly, you're hopeless. You were playing with a _pad_!"

"So what?" he responded casually, hoping to not sound too ignorant.

"So what?! Do you even know what a pad is _used for?_!" she shouted as she blushed.

"Remember that talk we had yesterday?" Pinako intervened. Ed nodded his head, afraid of what would come next. His face changed colors faster than a traffic signal; it went from a deep red blush to a sickly green as Pinako explained the function of a pad. He rushed upstairs and into the bathroom amidst gales of laughter from the two women.

"If Brother would hurry up and get with Winry, her period wouldn't be a problem." Al mused quietly. His comment ended abruptly when a hammer smashed into his helmet.

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Kame: hahaha! This was fun to write! I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did! Hope you understood Al's comment at the end (cough cough). And yes, some people actually get that sick when on a cycle. Oh, btw, the type of pad mentioned in this section is a reusable pad. I found out through research that women usually used old rags and the like, or special padded underwear. I simplified it to a reusable pad (which actually exists today, believe it or not). If you have any questions, comments or concerns, feel free to either review or PM me. Ja Mata!^^

*- Al thought of a grammatical period, like the one at the end of this sentence.


	4. Chapter 4

Kame: lol, I'm super sorry for taking forever with this last little bit…I had considered the story complete, but I realized that I kinda left everyone hanging at the end. I realized quite a few of my stories end like this:( My mistake for not ending this properly! I want to thank everyone who reviewed [sorry, I'm too lazy to list you guys, but you know who you are! Brownies for you!^^] and I hope you enjoy the last chapter of a period of pain!

Chapter 4

**Six months later...**

"Damnit, Winry is gonna kill me!" Ed groaned as he examined his damaged arm. It was, once again, almost snapped in two, the lower part dangling by a thin wire. The way it swayed in the gentle breeze caused Ed to convulse.

"Well, maybe if you ask her nicely…and pay her way to Rush Valley…and take her on a shopping spree…and buy her a refrigerated truck, she'll leave you semi-conscious." Al said with amusement laced in his voice.

"You're not helping." Ed said through gritted teeth.

"You may as well call her." Al said. "If you tell her in advance, she may blow off enough steam by time we see her so she won't put you into a coma."

Ed glared at Al, then the telephone that will lead to his death.

"ARGH! This is that stupid Gluttony's fault!" he shouted.

"Actually, when Gluttony bit your arm, I was sure he swallowed it." Al commented.

"And he would have, had you not kicked him in his ass. I guess I'll make it a point to compliment Winry on her craftsmanship." Ed said.

"Brother, go ahead; I really think you should tell her in advance." Al said.

"I like living! Al, _you_ call her!" Ed sobbed.

_For someone who likes living, you don't seem too keen on self-preservation…_"Whether I make the call or not won't change Winry being upset." Al reasoned.

Ed shot daggers at Al as he picked up the receiver and dialed.

"Rockbell Automail, Pinako Rockbell speaking"

"H-hey Granny, how are you?" Ed asked in a high pitched voice.

"…you broke your automail again, didn't you?" Pinako said. "Hang on, I'll go get-"

"NO!" Ed screamed with bulging eyes. "Not yet. Is Winry…" he looked around to check if anyone was around. Once he confirmed that it was just he and Al, he whispered, "…on her period?"

Pinako snorted.

"Well, do you want me to ask her?"

"GOD NO!" Ed shouted, and then took a deep breath; it wouldn't do to have a heart attack, although it would save him from Winry's wrath. "I mean, don't you already know?"

"I'm not Winry; she's the only one who would know. Did you call just to ask me that?"

"No! Well, it's just I know Winry is sick and all and-"Ed began.

"-you don't want to repeat the same mistake twice, although you keep making the mistake of busting your automail." Pinako finished. Suddenly, he heard a loud stomping noise in the background and a slamming door.

"GRANNY, IS THAT ED ON THE PHONE?! DID HE F#%K UP HIS AUTOMAIL AGAIN?!" she roared. Ed paled and lost three years off his lifespan.

"No, this is one of my clients." she said, failing to keep the smirk out of her voice. Once the demon queen stomped to her room Pinako replied,"Well, if you must know, yes, she is."

"Oh really? Well, in that case, we may stop by a little bit later." He said in that high pitched voice.

"Ed, don't you go walking around with busted automail." Pinako warned.

"I'll call back in a week." Ed said before he hung up.

"Brother, what are you going to do about your arm?" Al asked, pointing to the remains literally hanging by a thread.

"No problem Al; I'll just have to be really careful." Ed said cheerfully. The wind blew a little harder and the wire broke. Both brothers stared at the arm on the ground for a minute before Ed sighed and picked it up.

"Al, I'll leave the funeral arrangements to you." he said dully.

**END**


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